Storm Warning

This is usually the part where the website lists endless disclaimers and warnings from their legal department.

How about this:

  • Our tools are razor sharp
  • Don't dance around like a twat or you will cut yourself
  • If you intend using one of our knives in the pursuit of martial arts, seek qualified instruction
  • If you are such a fat bastard that simple movement could cause your heart to give out - consult a doctor before beginning such training
  • Obey the law

There, that was simple wasn't it?

Danger

If you do hurt yourself really badly - please write and tell us so we can use it in our promotional material. Also, feel free to describe how you could have done more damage to yourself. We are constantly improving our fine products.